Handling Breakup

More than 135,000 people commit suicide in India every year. In the age group of 15-29, India has one of the highest youth suicide rates in the world with between 30 and 40 people per 100,000 commiting suicide. Out of this figure, as many as 20,000 of them – around 15 per cent, surprisingly take this step due to “Heartbreak”.

We come from a society where everyone in thier lifetime is bound to have one partner. If you look at our cultural influences, from the folktale of Heer Ranjha to most of the Bollywood stories from the 1970s and 1980s, they are about the hero sacrificing himself or the heroine sacrificing herself for their one and only love – all of this is embedded in our cultural memory. In that sense, we are a very romantic race; we believe in the idea of a soulmate. People carve the name of their loved ones on their wrists. It still happens.

We then try to look for solutions to handling break-up in western culture, but it is very clear that they have not figured out how to manage their emotions, right? So what do we do? How do we shape ourselves as individuals and as a society? I think relationships are crucial to that. I think the answer lies in our spiritual traditions, which talk about the love that you have for your partner as being the love that is a part of you. It’s your own energy.

Love is a feeling which might have been evoked by someone else for a while, and now it’s gone and then suddenly you feel alone, but then that love has carved you as a person and made you are today, and if you can connect with that energy without any triggers from external source, there are a lot of opportunities to feel love.

To overcome a break up or a heartbreak, there are two powerful ways: First is to accept that it is over. The second way is to take the time to nurture yourself, to stay connected with people around you, to find someone who you can talk to about what you are experiencing – either a therapist or a close friend. You have to ensure that you are eating, sleeping and getting exercise, and slowly allow your mind to start working. And, eventually, figuring out the true source of the pain, which is not the loss of the relationship, but a deeper insecurity post your break-up that you have been unaware of.

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