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Afraid of looking stupid?

What is the number one killer of dreams in today’s world?

Doubt not, for it’s the fear of looking stupid.

Rooted in this problem is the fact that often the people who you think will make you feel stupid, or actually do criticise you might the very last people in the world qualified in the world to do so.

When Jenny Quan Zhiya, the high flying tech executive of a Chinese Car rental company decided it was time to go out on her own, most would have considered her venture doubtful. After all who wants to start a coffee chain to beat out Starbucks?

Especially considering the fact that Starbucks partnered with Alibaba to open exclusive Starbucks stores to make you feel that you are in 2040 already. But that did not stop Jenny Quan Zhiya, often known as the woman with the face of Buddha but works works like a thunder, from going after her dream of building up a brand to put up a major challenge against Starbucks.

Fast forward 18 months, Luckin Coffee has 2370 stores ie one store opened every 3.5 hours. It is the first Chinese unicorn in the coffee industry, and Jerry still has a long way to go.

But what if she thought at the start that this was a foolish endeavour?

What if she believed that Starbucks can never be put up to a challenge?

We would never have the worlds first cashless coffee chain with more than a 1000 stores. Most people are living lives in someone else’s terms. Living a life where they try their best to avoid fear, risk or resentment of any kind.

In most of the cases this has been culturally ingrained in us, other times it is childhood memories that haunt us into this hole.

Why you shouldn’t fear looking stupid?


‘Even if a man fails again and again to accomplish his purpose ( as he necessarily must until his weakness is overcome), the strength of the character gained will be measure of his true success. This character will be the basis for his future power and triumphs” – James Allen.

Failure is direct feedback. Failure is knowledge. Failure is true progress.
Life is not about failing or looking stupid, it is about improving a little every single day, because remember, we don’t have the lifespan of a firefly.

The recipe for permanent failure is the expectation of instantaneous success and the resentment that comes along because success never happens on your timeline.

“Do not focus on the outcome, focus on the effort you put into the process. This way you can feel less anxious and less scared, and redirect all that negative energy to building something positive.

Easier to say that done right? Yes, but it is the simple truth too.
“If someone is better at something, it is likely because they’ve failed at it more times than you” – Mark Mansonan

It’s illogical that people are fine looking good in mediocrity than taking the effort to look stupid on the grand road to success. These are the people who have taken embarrassment to be part of their process.

To summarise this with a beautiful quote – “You can’t be an important and life-changing presence for some people without also being a joke and embarrassment to others” -Mark Manson

Fail big, fail fast, all day, everyday.

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Prevent Suicidal Thoughts

As we reach mid-way of 2019, one shocking study we came across is the suicide rates among young people.

Suicide rates have reached its highest peak since the start of the 20th century. In the last twenty years most of the studies have focused female suicide rates, but the latest study confirms the worst fears that has been lurking around for a long time.

In 2018 alone, there was a 21 percent rise in suicide rates among male teens, from 2017. This study, conducted by the Harvard Medical School, conducted the study with the premise that even thought the female suicide rates have been increasing, the rise in the suicide rates among males is quite unprecedented.

Various studies have been conducted in the 15-19 age group for long. The collection of data among this age group has been extremely difficult simply due to the fact that the warning signs of depression ie. moodiness and withdrawal is often associated with hormonal changes that the teens go through. Also it is not possible to look out for pin-pointed symptoms, while looking out for depression. While for one person it may be manifestation of anger, in another it can be headaches while another can be excessive crying.


How can one prevent thoughts of suicide?

We gave it a long thought, discussed, read and here are our best suggestions.

1. It’s okay not to be okay

Yes. It’s okay not to be okay. “Happily ever after” might be the goal for everyone in life, but the simple fact is that you cannot ever cherish happiness or for that matter anything in life, without getting to know the opposite of it. When you are sad, or feel that you are in depression, take a moment to breathe out and understand that this is just a phase. Just like every phase, it moves on and all you have to do is last until it does.


2. Look out for others

Help others in need, for nothing will give you a bigger purpose that that. When you look out for others, you can yourself throw the negative thoughts of suicide out of your mind.

There are innumerable number of examples of people who have attempted suicide and failed at it, who comes out of the shell and understand the true value of life. A huge percentage of these people have dedicated their lives to helping people who are going through the same pain. Almost all of them acknowledge about how lucky they are to be present here in flesh and also that they find salvation in helping other people going through suicidal thoughts.


3. Seek Help

Periods, Sex and Suicide. These are the taboos in society that are never talked about. Please do not put yourself in this baseless ideology and make sure to seek help.

The professionals out there can break across the clutter of your thoughts/ symptoms and give you clear cut directions on how to improve your life. Their advice and help can be considered invaluable.


4. You are needed.

The feeling of being unwanted, the most common symptom of both suicidal thoughts and depression, is also one of the biggest lies that your mind plays on you. While your mind makes up these thoughts to protect you from perceived danger, its your responsibility to quieten it down and make it understand that you are truly needed <3


PS- If you are ever in need or seeking help, please do not hesitate to call me on +91-9819888048.

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Postpartum Depression is one of the most widely reported cases of depression in India. It is the depression that occurs after childbirth.

Although 10 million cases are reported in India every year, most of the women and sometimes even men going through this phase do not seek help.Unlike the baby blues, postpartum depression rarely disappears on its own. The condition can occur days or even months following the birth of your child and last for many weeks or months without treatment.

Let us first talk about the most important point first


Postpartum Depression happens due to hormonal changes. It does not make you a bad person and for that reason do not be hard on yourself. The biological and bodily changes are the reason that you are facing this.
Postpartum Depression is curable. Please consult a doctor to get a detailed plan but below we are offering you a couple of points to keep in mind to cope with postpartum depression.

1.Eat and Sleep right


Consuming a diet rich in omega-3 fatty acids, which are found in oily fish such as herring and salmon, during pregnancy may lower the risk of postpartum depression. It is also a good alternative for treating postpartum depression

2.Also Nap

While many moms will be rolling the eyes here, it is really important you squeeze in as much sleep as possible.

3.Bond With Your Child


Emotional bonding is highly important between newborn babies and their
parents. The bonding eases out the child and it goes beyond just the initial days. Successful bonding allows the child to feel safe enough to develop fully, and having this bond will affect the way in which they communicate and form relationships throughout their life.

A secure bond forms when you tune in and respond to your child’s needs or emotional cues, such as picking them up, soothing them, and reassuring them when they cry. Being a dependable source of comfort shows your child to learn how to manage their own feelings and behaviors, which, in turn, helps to strengthen their cognitive development.

4. Start exercising


Multiple studies have shown that exercise can successfully combat postpartum depression. It helps ease out the symptoms as well as help you achieve a better psychological state.Walking is a good starting point, with the added bonus of being able to push your stroller at the same time. Aim to be active for around 20–30 minutes per day. Even exercising for 10 minutes can benefit your body.

5. Breast-Feeding


A study on breast-feeding concluded that it may reduce the risk of PPD. This protection can help you until the fourth month after delivery.

There have been some cases where women develop depression symptoms
while breastfeeding. Known as Dysmorphic Milk Ejection Reflex or D-MER, you might experience sudden feelings of sadness, agitation, or anger that last several minutes after your milk lets down.

Conclusion


A proper diet, constant consultation 6 months into the birth of the child, sleep and breastfeeding should keep PPD away.

If you are still feeling the effects of it, please do consult the help of a professional.

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Workplace Stress

As millennials are getting into jobs for the first time in their lives, they are facing for the first time in their lives – workplace stress.


Workplace stress is common. Though some organizations, like Alibaba and Tencent, warrant and demand it through 699 (6 days a week, 9am to 9pm) to achieve the tremendous growth that it has, workplace stress has recently turned into workplace depression. Stress is good for the body. It keeps you alert, motivated and primed to respond to danger. But too much stress may lead to depression in susceptible people.


Stress might be necessary for extracting the best out of oneself, but the moment it turns into depression, the employee can have serious health and life risks attached. More importantly, the productivity of an employee who is in depression can be questionable. The modern conveniences have made it easier to work easily at any time of the day. Unless you are loving
your work, replying to emails while walking your dog can easily turn into a stressful event.
Lack of Empathy among co-workers and bosses has been stated as the main reason for employees going into depression. Long hours and lack of vision of how the inputs of the employees are going into the betterment of the overall company output are some of the other most commonly stated reasons.
It can be safely assumed that work stress is inevitable. So what is important in this scenario is building a support system. Whether it might be in the form of a person or a journal where you can write down your thoughts and feelings. Writing on a piece of paper of what you are feeling
has never been more underestimated anymore than in this generation than any other. Writing down can help settle one’s thoughts, open up new ideas and figure out solutions to the problems that one is currently going through.

It is also important to understand the criticism. Criticism is inevitable in a growth-oriented organization. One should always possess a critical understanding of whether understanding is constructive or not. If you are observing an environment where non-constructive criticism is being offered more than anything, it is important that you do yourself a favor and let the management know it. If it persists it is always healthy that you select a different pathway. This is because the criticism being offered is not providing any value other than the obvious mental harm which comes with it.
Even in tough times, you should always remember to keep self-belief of your skills and value. Nothing is more important than keeping up your self-esteem. Human beings, by their very DNA, want to be successful and add value, in everything that they do. But in a workplace that is constantly changing and where the goals keep changing, regrets and burnout can easily set in. This, in turn, can lead to anxiety, depression and, if employees
have poor coping strategies, addiction issues like drinking and smoking. It may also increase employees’ risk of developing lifestyle-related illnesses such as diabetes.

How to cope up with this stress?
Understand the importance of self-talk, reflection through writing and finding someone to open up about the worries you are facing. Get in a routine, eat healthy, exercise. Take a walk when you can; a light jog or run can churn up endorphins to ease some depression symptoms. When you need to take a day off, you do that without fear. Come back to work when you can give it a 100 percent again.

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social media and depression

Social media got out of the small bubble of Orkut and Myspace into the lives of more than 2 billion people with the rise of Facebook and Twitter. It fueled further with the acquisitions Facebook made over the years of Instagram and Whatsapp.


The biggest users of social media today is that of Generation Y. Generation Y is defined as those born between the mid-1970s and the early 2000s. This population has grown up with a majority of the technological advances, such as computers and the Internet. They have established relationships with technology and strongly understand its various uses.

70% of Generation Y uses social networking sites and about 65% have an online profile. 63% of this population go online on a daily basis. Social Media addiction is real and it is a new age problem which we are still diagnosing.

The University of Maryland once conducted a study but blacking out 200 students of any type of social media for 24 hours. A major percentage of these students showed different types of anxiety, restlessness, and jitteriness throughout the day. With the rise of social media, our lives
have become less about accomplishments over a lifetime and rather about our everyday picture-worthy adventures on a 3*3 grid on Instagram.

Social media is also turning out to be a major distractor at work. The rise of notifications and the constant addition of devices from everywhere to the hand to the years, we are told to believe that every single notification is important enough not to be missed. Teens who are spending more than 5 hours a day online have been shown to have 71% more chances of dying in a suicide attempt. While this is a scary statistic, measures have recently started coming up to better serve the users of social media.


Is Social Media becoming unhealthy? Yes, it is. But is it all that bad and messed up? No.

All major social media applications have come up with the reminders and time spend features to better educate its users about the time they are spending on the applications. We can also not rule out the good effects of social media, in relaying information that was otherwise not available. The last 5 years saw the rise of hidden of the Gen Y, and they have successfully harnessed the power of social media through Instagram pages like KidsEatInColor to better parenting.


The one fact that we should understand is that Social Media is inevitable and the truth is that it is going to be there every single day you wake up. Avoiding social media completely in today’s world can be a little difficult.

We simply cannot deny the fact that it truly does help in connecting
in a much better manner than 10 years ago. The only way to counteract the bad effects of social media is putting up some guidelines for yourself, and strictly following it on a daily basis.

There are apps like Forest, used by companies around the world, to block out all of the social media during work hours. Putting up reminders of half an hour on all major social media applications can be the healthiest way to go forward.

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